Friday, September 17, 2010


Why the ups
and then the downs
why do they feel
so real
and then seem
so wrong

I catch myself letting one event or one person's words bring me down for the rest of the day. I'll be crazy excited about something, and then one little thing can ruin the whole thing for me. I can't decide if I need tougher skin or if those things really should affect me like that.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010


On days like today I alternate
throwing things
biting my nails
falling asleep
hiding from the world
on days like today
I have no idea how to put into words
all the things that I feel.

Saturday, September 11, 2010


I posted this as my facebook status:

To the ones with fear, to the ones who didn't know, to the ones who saw it coming, to the ones who got away, to the ones who didn't, but most importantly, to the ones who bravely entered the buildings or crashes knowing there was a chance they wouldn't make it out-- you are not forgotten, and you are loved.

I never know exactly what to say about this day. There are so many emotions I feel and I didn't even know anyone in any of the crashes or resulting disasters. I feel pain for those who have lost someone, and pain for the loss of security ...we all have. I feel immense pride in the brave people who worked to free trapped victims, to provide relief, and those who became victims themselves in the process. I feel shame not knowing if I could have done the same.

Mostly, though, I think I feel fear that this day will become just another day that people forget about. I mean, how many people do you know who can, off the top of their heads, tell you which day Pearl Harbor's attack happened? They know what it is, and which war it happened with, but it's not usually the first thing to come to their mind when they hear the date.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Last Chance

So the wife-to-be is going to have her bachelorette party tomorrow. I'm going to miss her. But she's super excited about her mafia party, with her mafia suit and all the party's matching bachelorette shirts.

*I* am excited about MINE! It's a sweet 80s-wedding-themed party. I'm going to be wearing a white wedding dress with a big fat bow on my butt, and this v-shaped crown with a huge poufy veil I made. My friends will all be in 80's bridesmaid dresses and suits. All on the 18th.

This. Will. Be. Epic.

22 days left!!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Self Esteem

The enemy
is worse than anything
ever said to me.
The fighting and biting and
acid words
hissed in my ear
sound so
as though no other person
in the world
could know better.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010


Odd, isn't it
How the world doesn't actually
around me.

Odd, isn't it
How I have it much better than it
some days.

Odd, isn't it
How the "everything" I knew is really
at all.