Monthly Nuisance

I feel like this happened in Heaven:

God: "Hello, Eve. Welcome to your heavenly home. You are the first woman of Earth to come home to me. Do you have any reflections on your life?"
Eve: "Really God? PERIODS? You couldn't have just made our bodies reabsorb that or something?"
God: "It couldn't have been that bad. Here's some chocolate.."
Eve: *growls, grabs chocolate*

Dreamstate

I had a dream this morning, just before I woke up. I don't think I'll share it, but it made me realize that one of my fears about being a mother is stronger than I thought. My cousin is giving birth today and I checked her status last night before I went to bed, so I can only assume that's why I dreamed what I did (which actually had nothing to do with her but it was awful). I have dreamed the same thing in variations for a little while now, and there's a tiny part of me that worries... if you dream something often enough.... is it because it's going to come true? God has worked through dreams countless times. Why should I be any different? I can only hope that's not what's really going on.

Speaking of babies.....

We want one. We want some. We want children badly. For those of you who think we don't deserve one because we'll instill bad values--with all due respect, go jump off a dock. You can have your beliefs and your prejudices, but they are wrong. I am going to be a great mother, and Julie is going to be a great mother, and we will both be mothers. There won't be a "mom" and an "aunt." We are going to have children of our own, and it will be soon. I won't be telling you right away, since it's something that I don't want you to have any part of ruining. There are some of you who ruin everything for me by telling me I'm doing it wrong, by telling me I'll mess things up, by telling me God sees me and is unhappy. Don't pretend you know what goes on in God's omniscient head.

Have you ever watched me or Julie with children? Have you ever seen the love in our eyes? Do you have any idea how much effort we will put into raising the most tender-hearted, educated, humor-appreciating, God-fearing children who will ever walk the planet? It's not like we intend to just "go get knocked up." We're doing this the right way. This child or children will have mothers who love them, and yes! FATHERS who love them! I want our children to have fathers. I know that might blow your mind, but I'm not some man-hating lesbian who thinks that men only ruin things. I think fathers are incredibly important and every child at some point will want to know who had a part in creating them--and I want our children to be able to know and love all of their parents.

So when I call you to tell you we're expecting, if you answer with anything other than "Congratulations!".... if you answer with a sigh, if you answer with a sarcastic "Well, that's great," ... if you answer with tears of unhappiness, you cannot reasonably expect to be a large part of our children's lives--because I don't want them to have to dread coming to see you, knowing how you judge our family. I don't want to drop them off to stay with you only to hear later the lies you've put into their heads. I can promise you that the first time you hurt them by telling them that their family is not a real family will be the last time you see them.

So, speaking of babies... we're going to have them, we're going to love them, and we're going to be prouder of them than anything else we've ever done in our lives.